Whatever may come…

I can’t find the direction. I know my life should have a direction,but I lost it a long time ago, & can’t seem to find it.

I have an exam later this week, an assignment due early next week, & then more exams the week after. I wish I could say that that’s why I haven’t blogged lately. But it isn’t so.

So I was trying to study in the morning, at Uni. A little after I started doing my stuff(hey, I meant studies), I couldn’t help but notice the PDA right beside me. PDA= Public Display of Affection. Now I hate PDA’s. It was them lebanese students. The gal was using the comp next tomine, on my right. So I was now trying to stare at my comp screen, or towards my left (NOT my right). But you know, you are still aware of what’s going on your right, although you aren’t exactly looking in that diretion. & then there’s the noise factor. No, I couldn’t clasp my hands over my ears (would that have helped?). Now just how amI supposed toconcentrate what with that going on right beside me?!Ofcourse, allthis wasn’thelped by the fact that the girl had skin white as milk(or,snow,or vanilla-whatever you fancy-& no, I do not fancy milk either). With slightly red/pink cheeks (I’m not saying why they were red). Pink, just like a drop of roohafzah in that milk(you can tell I’m missing desifoods here,lol). Anyway, just when I felt that I couldn’t take this any longer, they start to discuss some mathematical formula…! Almost like all that PDA just never happened!

Oh, & never, I repeat, NEVER watch a shayari wali fillum when you shoud be studying for your exams…

Tere dil mein meri saanson ko panaa mil jaye,
Tere ishq mein meri jaan fanaa ho jaye.

Lol. There’s (alot) more where that came from. oh, & I haven’t even mentioned the songs yet….atleast it just had 2 “ok” songs, while the rest were crap.(so,yes, I just gotta remember those 2…). Guess I shuda watched some other fillum instead. Atleast I woudn’t be humming shayari & songs…

Thursdays are busy days at Uni. I have just 1 hour in between classes, to run from building 5 to building 1, so that I can eat & pray & mebbe fit in another chore (& even run into the homies, check out the chickaz,etc), before running back to building 5. & what happened today?atleast 20 minutes of that precious hour were wasted bcoz I wanted to wait for my favourite stall/cubicle in the restroom. That restroom coz its right near the musallah, & so it has the lotas. Why that particular cubicle?*shrugs shoulders* beats me!So I was waiting for my stall with filled up lota in hand.Then another stall is vacated (the middle one),& as a guy is on his way to use it, I offer my lota-wonder where the others were?!& then I realise that waiting for the one was a bad idea coz now all 3 are occupied. Finally, the guy I offered my lota to, vacates his stall, & on seeing me still waiting & as I give in & proceed towards that stall, he apologises(coz he thought that I wanted to go when I gave him my filled up lota..). What are the odds of all 3 stalls being occupied for the long job just when I need to use one?& Oh, the awkwardness.

& just what have my days come to, that I actually write up a post about my recent restroom antics?! Damn, the blog has so become that which it wasn’t supposed to be-a “& this is what I did today” blog.Shucks. Forget the blog, hell, I have become the person I so didn’t want to be. Until a year ago, I used to think that I was quite mature. That I was above all this. That I had mysteriously skipped that phase. Thesedays, when I listen to songs, it actually feels like a line here, a verse there, actually applies to me!Cheesy, I know. But that’s what I’ve become. Maybe I’m just a late bloomer. Hell, maybe I am going back to being a teenager- even my pimples are back. But then, like someone said to me, maybe I’m just being normal. As in, I should be glad that I’m normal, afterall?Uh’huh.

As you probably know by now, the crisis isn’t over yet.