Metrosexual, anyone?!
I would never classify myself as one of the metro-type. Coz the only bit of grooming I do, is, umm, use soap on my face?! I don’t use any creams/sun screen, lotions or any such thing. That was until I went in & had a facial done. So I had my first ever facial. Needed to do something about all those blackheads, whiteheads, dead cells etc that had been stationed on my face for so many years. All in all, I didn’t really like the experience. I might get it done again only if I really ( really) need to. I’m no fan of the process.
It all started with the guy telling me that I have sensitive skin, & not all products would do it for me. The guy, happened to be well known, as in, he’d worked in one of the best unisex parlours, & had the pictures (of him working on last decade’s celebrities) & certificates/awards on the wall. So he started with massaging dollops of creamy stuff into my face. Now, whenever I’m putting myself through any such unpleasant experience (such as a visit to the dentist’s) I try to phase it all out by closing my eyes (coz I don’t want to look at someone leaning over me that close) & remaining silent & imaging some sort of meditation (yes, just imagining). I don’t know how long he persisted, but it was quite a while & he used a lot of some creamy stuff. Besides closing my eyes, I also made sure that my mouth was tight shut- (so that he should not see my teeth from such proximity, & no, I do not have bad breath) & for fear of getting some gooey stuff into my mouth, although I’m sure I ingested quite a bit of that stuff through my mouth/nose.
Eventhough I tried hard to keep my mouth shut, his massaging movements managed to pull my lips just apart enough to get some of said gooey stuff into the corners of my mouth/ top of my lips. No, it wasn’t even pleasant to the taste. Now, since I had my mouth shut, the only other way for me to breathe was through my nose (no, contrary to whatever you may think, I do not have gills). The problem? He had to massage my nose as well, because I happen to have had a whole lotta blackheads on my nose. (does all this graphic description of me, make you see me in a different albeit unattractive, light?!). now just how was I to breathe when he clasps/shuts up my nose?! So I had to memorise his movement pattern, so that I restrict my inhaling & exhaling to occur before & after he’s done with his quick, well lubricated, well-timed movements over my nose. (twice massage the lower half of the face, then a sweep over the nose, repeat umpteen times). Ofcourse, inhaling through the nose meant that I ended up ingesting some cream into my nostrils. The trouble? If you knew me, you’d know how prone I am, to catching a cold, & boy, you sure don’t want me to have one of my sneezing fits (wherein I am ok for 15 minutes, but immediately after, I have over 10 sneezes in quick succession, timed, approximately every 3 seconds, & boy are they big, loud ones). So with my senses tingled by having some alien cream in my nose,I thought I was gonna blow it- the powers that be, helped me resist the urge to have a big sneeze (& I think he sensed it coz he left me alone for a bit). Ofcourse I had to try real hard to resist that sneeze, somehow holding my breath helped.
Throughout the ordeal, I was tempted to just grab the little face towel lying in my lap, wipe the creamy goo off my face & get the hell outta there! But apparently, I have a high level of tolerance.
Thereafter, I lost consciousness as to remember each little detail of what went on- I was just waiting for him to tell me that it’s over. But I do remember him using what I think was one of those small vibrating hand-held massagers on my face- all over it. & then came the steamy part.
& with that I refer to the part where he raises my head off the recliner & lowers it into one of those gizmos designed to steam a face. More trouble. Why? Coz I breathe through my beloved nose. I almost scalded the insides of my nostrils the first time he did it. Thereafter,I took cue & would hold my breath whenever he’d lower my face into that thing. But there were times when I just had to breathe- managed to do it without scalding my nosetrils.phew!
Then he picked at my face,with that small metal prod to extricate the huge dead cells/lumps. More massaging. Finally (I think) he put on some peal mask, & covered my eyes in cucumber peals (I think, remember, dare I open my eyes). The slices kept sliding & I thought I’d get them on my shirt with that creamy stuff, but thankfully, that didn’t happen. & all the while it took to dry, I had to tolerate this other customer, who wouldn’t dare shut up, coz then her anti dandruff treatment wouldn’t have worked to rid her of her dry dandruff, which was, apparently, in its initial stages. I never imagined someone could go on & on & have that long a conversation-about dandruff. I was ready to volunteer my services to help rid her of her dry hair/oily scalp problem –by pulling all her hair out for her.
Once he pealed the mask off my face, he used an ice cube (to close up the pores, I believe) & I was finally allowed to go. But not before he pointed out the numerous inexcusable blunders my barber had done on my crowning glory, & telling me how me could make me look better if I let him cut my hair for me. Yeah right.
